At 21, I do not fit the typical mold. Friends and family, upon meeting me, often express disappointment. This fuels my over thinking and undermine my self-love confesses Prisha. She grapples with the constant need for validation and an overwhelming concern about others' opinions, to the extent that it led to hospitalization. Her thoughts spiral endlessly, haunted by 'what ifs.' Can you relate to Prisha's struggles?
Many of us have a tendency to seek approval, aiming to stay in the 'good books' of those around us. The pressure to meet societal expectations—whether in our appearance, communication, height, or looks—leads us to rely heavily on external validation.
Do you know someone who consistently prioritizes others over themselves? Driven by a fear of rejection, wrestling with insecurities, and yearning for acceptance, they grapple with thoughts like, "What if they abandon me if I don't constantly please them?" Recognize these patterns? It might be worth sharing this perspective with them.
Shifting our focus to overcoming people-pleasing, establishing boundaries becomes crucial. Set goals and priorities, deciding when and how to offer help. Remember, helping others should be a choice, not an obligation. Give it a try, and perhaps share these insights with others!
Over thinking often accompanies people-pleasing. Excessive contemplation about our actions leads us to consider how they will be perceived by others. We anticipate the worst in every situation, replaying conversations in our minds. When caught in this cycle, ask yourself, "Is this situation within my control? Will it matter to me five years from now?" More often than not, the answer is no. This realization helps gauge whether it's worth the stress.
In conclusion, the answers to our struggles lie within us. Trust your instincts and internal wisdom; they hold the solutions to every problem. Energy spent on over thinking and people-pleasing is unwarranted. It only serves to inflict pain on your beautiful mind and heart. Embrace mindfulness and analyze your thoughts to break free from these patterns. As Christopher Robin tells Pooh in Winnie the Pooh, "Always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know."
About Author
Diya Sharan is a final-year master’s student pursuing applied psychology and is a passionate individual striving to be a psychologist in the near future. With a keen interest in human complexities and helping individuals be their best selves, Diya explores the intricacies of emotional connections in her writing. Connect with Diya on Instagram @creativethinker_blogger for more thought-provoking insights.